Writing this book of my life is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I thought living through my grandmother’s death was the toughest part of my life but reliving it to write about it is even tougher. Yet, still I persevere because I know that by pouring out my life, just as I share a little here with you guys, someone will walk away from it with a lesson learned.
As I said before if you recall the other day’s topic, “All Souls Follow Your Calling,” it’s sometimes very hard to follow your calling. It’s down right difficult opening up yourself and allowing God to use you and your life to His will, His way and for His glory. Yet, I surrender my life because I know that his power working through me will allow others to see just how good God is. Whether that lesson be that they’re not alone or that there’s hope in the midst of all of the storms and tragedies they are dealing with, I openly pour my heart onto the page for Christ’s sake.
Once, I may have been broken, depressed, grief stricken and sunken into a dark abyss, but like Tasha Cobbs Leonard sings in her new song, “Gracefully Broken,“ I know that God broke me in order to position me because his power works best when we are weak. Yes, I may have been broken but God didn’t allow the breakage to kill me. Even though it felt like I was dying, and many times I wanted to, He chose to keep me in order to break me gracefully. Today, I live and have a story to tell because Christ lives inside of me.
“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT)
So now I am glad to share my pain and my weaknesses because it was in my weakness that Christ showed up. It was when I was at my lowest point in life and I wanted to end my life because I had given up all hope, that God came and rescued me from the hands of the enemy.
“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” (John 10:10 NLT)
I know my life story will save somebody someday. I know that all I’ve been through happened for the sole reason that I was strong enough to get through it so that I can help someone else get through their pain and difficult times. I’m a Wounded Healer! I know that I’ve been positioned on purpose. With God’s grace and mercy, I was able to overcome the obstacles that stood in my way. With Christ’s love, my heart was mended back together again feeling much more whole this time around. That’s because I realized I never have to be alone for God is always standing right there beside me, guiding me along the way and loving me in spite of my misery, stumbles, trips and falls. No matter how many times I’ve been knocked down, God has always been there to pick me right back up.
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Romans 8:28 NLT)
Had I not went through the last few years, as well as everything else that occurred in my short lifetime, I would’ve never seen the light. I would’ve never gotten to this happy, peaceful place in the Lord. I would’ve never followed this path and I would’ve never embraced my calling. With death comes life and sometimes we must lose in order to gain. It hurts right now, reliving my past for the sake of this book, but I know deep down inside that I must prevail and continue writing. There are other people out here in the world going through the same things and they need to know that there’s a light at the end of the dark tunnel. They need to know that hope, love, forgiveness and peace can be there’s too if they just hold on to their faith.
“And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6 NLT)
“We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.” (Hebrews 12:2 NLT)
I pray to be that beacon of hope shining and guiding people back to Christ. His love is all we will ever need. His guidance is the best path to take. I surrender all asking God constantly to have His way with me as He works through me. Today, I ask that each of you who reads this prays for my strength as I get through this tough time. I know that once it’s over and I’m done reliving it and writing it, I’ll smile again but for now I must take these tears and pour them out onto the pages. I know it’s my life and I’ve already lived it; however, writing it is a whole new chapter that I must overcome in order to succeed at doing what Christ told me to do. Just pray my strength and be patient with me as God works through me to tell my story.
Sincerely with love,
Travel photography by IG user: @golden_heart